So there I was, minding my own business
Passing out plates of barbeque
When I was viciously attacked
by this guy who was holding-
A TAPE RECORDER
Well, I wasn't going to take that
Not at my own event
Not when I'm about to finally get elected
Even though they keep telling me they
don't want me for the job
And I wasn't going to let some puke
ask me about what I was gonna do
when I finally got the job
so I knocked him to the groooooound!

You've seen me on television
Fighting bears and terrorism
Vote for me or get infected
you'll cry if i'm not elected
I am good at hypnotism
making money my religion
Next i'm going to buy this seat
I don't have time for your critique

You've seen me on television
My words chosen with precision
Would you like a circumcision?
Cutting taxes is my vision
Vote for me or get infected
liberal laws must be corrected
Someday i will have perfected
How to pay to get elected
I am good at hypnotism
Watch these morons gulp my jism
No more taxes way more prisons
Plutocratic nepotism
Next i'm going to buy this seat
I don't have time for your critique

I've answered enough questions, ya know?
I didn't have to answer questions when I ran
my businesses and made millions
The only questions I answered were the ones
I wanted, and things worked really well
I made a ton of money, and my friends
never asked questions,
because I would have knock them to the ground!


Fighting bears and terrorism
Sure makes for good television
Maybe not good legislatin'
better than that Cowboy Satan
He will turn your children gay
They'll take our god and guns away
Refugees will blow up Glacier
Jews will run the legislature

You've seen me on television
My words chosen with precision
Would you like a circumcision?
Cutting taxes is my vision
Vote for me or get infected
liberal laws must be corrected
Someday i will have perfected
How to pay to get elected
I am good at hypnotism
Watch these morons gulp my jism
No more taxes, way more prisons
Plutocratic nepotism
Next i'm going to buy this seat
I don't have time for your critique

None of you understand
That reporter coulda been a pro wrestler,
he was like Andre the Giant
But I took care of him
Just like I'll take care of Montana


"Oh my goodness, the IRS is setting up to review his taxes, but wait!
Oh my lord, he's on the turnbuckle! He's flying through the air, and
oh LORD, what a savage attack!
Now he's lifting the IRS over his head, and
OH NO! It's a body slam!


And when someone gets in my way,
Bodyslam!
And when negotiation gets difficult
Bodyslam!
And when I get elected too many times and I see those term limits?
Gianforte Bodyslam!