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People Think the Earth is Flat

from Atlas Sharted by Soviet Fourth Grader

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lyrics

Did you know?
There are people who think moon landings are fake news
and jet fuel needs to melt steel beams for building to fall over
Some people think the earth is flat

This is a song for them


You think that the earth is flat
Cash me outside, how bout dat
You won't take your vaccine shot
Kids will die for your dumb thought

Global warming is a myth?
Which corporation are you with?
Earth was not built like lego set
God hasn't played with legos yet


You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt

You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt


You think fluoride in the water
Is the work of new world order
Shine on, silly lumps of coal
They hated science in days of old

You love to eat organic fruit
Then eat the flies and maggots, too
All your seeds are belong to Monsanto


Wait, actually, yes, all your seeds ARE belong to Monsanto. They're monsters, but not because of GMOs! Just ruthless capitalism.


You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt

You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt


Insufficient facts invite danger
But your theories keep getting stranger
Science I swear to defend
Is beginning of wisdom, not the end


You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt

You think you know science?
You only know fuck
I'm using your writings
To clean up my butt


We hold this method to be self evident:

Ask a question
Research
Construct a hypothesis
Conduct experiment
Analyze procedure
Collect data
Draw conclusions
Modify hypothesis
Communicate results
And most importantly, consider shortcomings in your science, and ask a new question


It may not lead to an exact, infallible answer first time through, but you'll be a lot fucking closer than bizarre fantasies jag offs continue to cook up. In old country, Uncle Mykola once was convinced that if he whistled national anthem while looking into mirror at moon then he could jinx a man who sold him mule but said was donkey...

credits

from Atlas Sharted, released November 1, 2020

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Soviet Fourth Grader Missoula, montana

We first made music with dead herring against septic tanks at national production facility of Stanislavia! Now government money from America buys us all kinds of artist equiptment for making our premium music. You like!

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