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pizzagate [Single]

by Soviet Fourth Grader

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lyrics

pizzagate
voldemort's golden gate
spreads violence, disinformation,
and racial hate

the pizzagate
was opened with a ouija board
a portal to an alternate dimension
we need kurt russell and harrison ford

han shot first
but not in this film
the one titled "stargate"
an alternate dimension where egyptians rule

the pizzagate wasn't like a dig
in the middle east before the arab spring
it much more resembled a film
like ghostbusters

in 1984 zuul opened up
the gate and made
rick moranis keymaster
which was an admittedly lame innuendo for his penis

i tell you what
when they opened this gate
the mozzarella monster came through and it ate
the delicious beating heart of democracy in america

when we tried to close the pizzagate
we got exorcists, folks in figure skates,
your mother, and everyone
we could think of

but the pizzagate is still a gaping wound
it'll take time and a changing taste for food
cause as long as people still eat pizza
there'll always be a pizzagate

I'D BUTT CHUG SOME RAZOR BLADES
JUST TO CLOSE THE PIZZA GATE

i would rollerskate for eternity
in outer space with david spade
if it meant we all escaped
from the shadow of the pizzagate

i would have surgery from norman bates
on my face
with razor blades from judas priest
if i could find the key to lock the pizzagate

i'd eat spaghetti full of hair
and let the donkey from shrek kick me in my downstairs
if my broken testicles could glue the pizzagate back together

i'd watch avatar again

i'd eat lead paint chips

i'd let someone push me off of a balcony into a garbage truck

i'd do anything

anything

ANYTHING

credits

released March 15, 2018
music, lyrics, & teeth by konstantinos
additional music & other bullshit by anatoli

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all rights reserved

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Soviet Fourth Grader Missoula, montana

We first made music with dead herring against septic tanks at national production facility of Stanislavia! Now government money from America buys us all kinds of artist equiptment for making our premium music. You like!

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